Book Feature

Tortured by Self-Doubts

By R. Dandridge Collins

Tortured by Self-Doubts One of the most powerful things we can ever do with our lives is to choose what we really want. The heart of being formed in the image of God is that as humans we get to exercise free will. As God’s children we get to pick which direction our lives will go—toward the brilliance of the light or toward the abyss that is the darkness. The damage that many forms of emotional trauma leave is that choice is preempted and is snatched away from us.

Trauma often leaves you with gaping holes in your self-confidence. You start questioning: “What is wrong with me that I had to go through this ordeal? Was I singled out? Why me?” Hard times can stir up profound self-doubt and fears.

All of us have plenty of times when we doubt ourselves. But when you’ve experienced trauma, the doubts come more frequently. When your doubts outweigh your beliefs, your life direction and momentum suffer. You become stagnant. Your life feels stuck in neutral, seemingly forever. Over time your confidence is affected. For some trauma survivors, the confidence gap becomes clear through choice avoidance. For many, making decisions is downright painful. Stating what you want becomes frightful. Choosing is powerful business. People who have lived through their share of trauma often don’t feel comfortable making tough choices. They find themselves on an emotional seesaw, where choices have the feel of a moving target they can’t seem to hit. They reason: “Why make a choice when I can play it safe and remain noncommittal for as long as I can?”

But self-doubt does not need to be an albatross worn around your neck. It can be a starting point in a continuum of growth, like a mustard seed. Jesus was always a fan of sincere faith. He invites us to come to Him as we are. We won’t be perfect when we approach Him. Perfection is not an option for us. But what God does expect from us is to be willing followers. If we are open to His instructions, miracles of healing and recovery await us. Working through the snare of trauma is much the same way.

Willingness to heal plays a big part in bouncing back from disappointment. When you’ve been beaten down, put down and shut down, confidence is often in short supply. You become so saturated with doubts that it becomes hard to move forward.

Your sense of self is one of the chief dimensions of your personality that becomes wounded in severe emotional injuries. Your sense of self organizes your values, preferences and beliefs. When your sense of self is damaged, your self-esteem is often poor. You become more easily confused about who you are and how to negotiate your wants and needs. But Jesus shows us that if we even have a little genuine faith it is enough. Faith is the hook upon which God hangs our blessings.

Have you ever wondered what helps a person make the shift from the energy of doubt to the energy of faith? Sometimes it’s just a little faith—a spiritual “spark” that lights a fire—that leads you to that first step in the right direction. A step that says, “Even though I’ve been frustrated with the help I’ve been getting, if I keep reaching out, I know I’ll eventually find someone who can help.”

It’s good to know that Jesus can help. You have to believe that there is help available for you. This is especially true for emotional hurts. What you believe about your pain can either speed up your recovery or keep you stuck in your trauma. The best choice is to reach out for help and let the love you receive from God transform you.

Dear Lord, my confidence has some holes in it. I know You have all power in Your hands, but sometimes I have a hard time understanding Your omnipotence. I have moments in which I waver and have doubts. Only You know what I’ve been through. Help me to trust You with all of my heart. Help me to remove the barriers to my growth. Grant me the courage to take action that is nurturing to who I am and who You are calling me to become. I thank You for Your redeeming love that accepts me unconditionally and restores me to wholeness. Amen.