The Ministry Wife

Welcome to Father’s House, Part 1

A Practical Guide for Taking the First-time Guest from the Door to the Core

By Arlene Patterson

As a military wife, I have moved 25 times in 41 years of marriage. Prior to coming to Springfield, Missouri, in 1990 to serve as vice-president of finance at Central Bible College, my husband, Bob, was a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Army.

God birthed the ministry of Christian hospitality in my heart because I have always been the guest or newcomer. Our family has been in wonderful churches and military chapels all over the world where Christians took time to walk across the aisle, or meet us in the foyer or parking lot, or simply greet us with a big, heartwarming smile and welcome us to their church.

I also know what it’s like to be lonely in a crowd. I know what it’s like to walk into a new church and not know one person. I also know what it’s like to move children and teenagers when they didn’t want to leave their established friends. I know what it’s like to be in another country, far from family, and desperately needing the fellowship available in the local church family.

Because I had to rely on people to accept and love me in many congregations due to military transfers, I became sensitive to the ministry of hospitality in local churches. My husband and I have served in small churches, large churches, military chapels and everything in between. In many churches, we were graciously received immediately. In others, we were made to feel we had to earn our acceptance. It was in one such church where we were attempting to earn our acceptance that God began to deal with me about the proper way to assimilate the guest or stranger into the church.

Now, years later, as I travel and hold seminars and workshops on Christian hospitality, I am amazed at what God is doing through this ministry. Hospitality is a ministry for people and ministered by laity. Most people in any congregation can be involved. This multifaceted ministry involves loving, caring, sensitive and positive people. It should include young adults, college students, singles, middle-aged people and senior adults.

Why do I place a high priority on this ministry? First, because it is scriptural and falls under the ministry of helps mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12:27,28 — “those able to help others.” In this passage, Paul is speaking about the different gifts and facets of the body of Christ.

What is hospitality? Consider the following definitions:

“Receiving and entertaining guests generously and kindly.”
“Kindness and generosity to guests or strangers.”
“Liberally receptive.”

The root word comes from two Greek words, philo, which is translated “loving” and zenos, which is translated “strangers.” These Greek words combined are philioxenias — “the love of strangers” (Zondervan’s Greek Lexicon).

Notice, it is not translated “the love of your best friends”; rather, “the love of strangers.” This same word is used in Hebrews 13:2: “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (KJV).

I grew up in a wonderful Christian home where Southern hospitality reigned supreme. Mom and Dad would often welcome strangers at church who were traveling and needed a place to stay for the night. They would let them stay in our guest bedroom, fix them a huge breakfast and send them on their way the next morning. We never saw most of them again. This was truly “lodging of a stranger.” Today, many would consider this dangerous, but I am grateful for a heritage that taught me to receive the strangers God sends into my life.

In Romans 12:13, Paul commands Christians to “practice hospitality.” God desires that we practice hospitality, and He richly blesses us as we are obedient.

Let me share a few Scriptures on hospitality.

“A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality” (1 Timothy 3:2, KJV).

“Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet” (1 Timothy 5:10, KJV).

“Use hospitality one to another without grudging” (1 Peter 4:9, KJV).

“Beloved, thou doest faithfully whatsoever thou doest to the brethren, and to strangers” (3 John 5, KJV).

“We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth” (3 John 8).

“For I was ahungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger and ye took me in: naked and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:35,36,40, KJV).

As we reach out to others, we can readily observe the reciprocal grace of God working in our lives. I am grateful that God spoke to me many years ago about cheerfully and joyfully communicating Christian hospitality.

Once He has spoken to you about starting a hospitality ministry, consider the following:

Make sure His heartbeat for people becomes yours. This is a key element to ensure success.
Pray for a God-called leader. A highly motivated member of the laity is a great asset. While this ministry does not require that a member of the pastoral staff lead it, it should fall under the umbrella of one of the pastors on staff for accountability. The leader of this ministry needs to love people, be an organizer, motivator and sensitive to the Spirit of God.
Have an organizational meeting with your leadership. Invite everyone in the church to attend. Many times, people in your congregation who are not involved in any other ministry will be eager to work in the hospitality ministry. Build enthusiasm by having a guest speaker or a hospitality coordinator from a church where this ministry is in place.

As you contemplate launching a hospitality ministry, ask the following questions

Is our church growing?
Are we retaining members?
Do most of our first-time guests return for a second or third visit?
What are our church’s goals?
1. Have the goals and mission statement been clearly defined?
2. Is the majority of our church committed to achieving these goals?
3. Are we willing to change to reach our desired goals?

When we consider the lovely worship facilities God has given to us in America, we should be mindful of our God-given responsibility to “go out and compel them to come.” Once they attend our churches, we must make sure there is a reason for them to stay. We must assimilate the newcomers as quickly as possible, or we will lose them. I call this taking the guest from the door to the core.

People are drawn to a church where warmth and concern for their needs are shown. Remember, you never have a second chance to make a good first impression. Your first-time guests decide within the first 11 minutes if they will return to your church.