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Family Matters

Using Parental Guidance

By Patricia J. Davis

John was close to tears while pacing the kitchen floor.

“It’s rated PG-13, Mom! All my friends are going. Justin’s mother is taking us to the mall. I’ll look like a fool if I say you won’t let me see it.” It was the end of a long school week filled with many tests for my 15-year-old son. I felt he deserved a break, too. So I agreed that he could go out with his pals. But it didn’t include going to a film that neither my husband nor I approved of him seeing.

“Why are you spoiling my fun?” he shouted.

Neither the ratings provided for films and video games by the media nor the evaluations of other parents can be our family’s guide. A film with an MPAA rating of PG-13 or PG can include verbal exchange filled with unexpected profanity, accompanying violence and sexual references or scenes that included nudity. In an endeavor to keep our boys’ minds and hearts pure for as long as possible, I tire of having to fast-forward through these offensive scenes. Often, I stop the film and turn off the set.

The Internet, films, video games and television as well as some popular music and certain teen magazines—these powerful forces can corrupt our children. They are exploitative and send messages with unrealistic expectations. Often sexual encounters are seen as casual events without relationship and consequences.

Exercise Parental Responsibility

The Apostle Paul exhorts Christians to raise children “in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Parents are the best interpreters of program content. But too many parents are unclear about what their children should be viewing. What can parents do? We can begin by assuming responsibility, being aware, and taking a stand. Parents are urged to “train a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6).

Supervising Entertainment

Do we allow our children to watch anything they choose? Many children have a TV set in their bedroom. A significant majority of kids say their parents have no rules about films and television viewing, according to a study by the Kaiser Family Foundation in 2001. We need to set limits and screen television viewing. Ask your child what video will be shown at a sleepover. It is reassuring when another parent shows diligence in setting a high standard for viewing. But don’t be surprised if you must stand alone at times.

Participate in Viewing

Another study by the same foundation revealed that two-thirds of school-age children have a television. Very few parents watch television with their children, but doing so will provide an opportunity to discuss what is seen and draw some lessons from the characters’ experiences.

We then can help our children form opinions based on Biblical and moral standards. In a letter addressed to Titus, the Apostle Paul instructs us all to live “upright and godly lives in this present age” (2:12).

Teach Christian Values

If we fail to teach Christian values, the media-driven culture will supply our sons and daughters with its “values.” Deuteronomy 6:6,7 states, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

The Apostle Paul reminds Timothy, “From infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15).

Become the Primary Instructor

There has been a pervasive change in television programming—83 percent of which includes sexual content—in the past 20 years. Parents should not use the media to inform their kids about sex simply because they are uncomfortable talking with them about the subject.

A study conducted by the Rand Corporation, funded by a grant from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, revealed the dramatic impact on adolescents of portrayal of sexual content in the media. The study shows that kids are more sexually active in proportion to viewing these programs. The Rand Corporation concluded, “This study clearly indicates the need for ameliorating the effects of TV sexual content on youth behavior, but provided only limited insight into the best method for its accomplishment.”

We need to help our sons and daughters put on the whole armor of God so they can take a stand against the devil’s schemes (see Ephesians 6:11-17). It is imperative that we teach our sons and daughters the biblical view of sex, and that God’s instructions are there for their protection. Let them know they can always come with their questions. God tells us that He created sex for union between husband and wife (Genesis 2:24). The Apostle Paul tells the Ephesians, “There must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity for no immoral, impure or greedy person has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God” (Ephesians 5:3-7).

Become Informed About Ratings

Parents can obtain information on a particular video or movie by visiting www.screenit.com, an entertainment review site for parents. Read comments about the film, a summary of plot content and the reason it is rated a particular way.

The criteria for judging a film have changed for the worse. Be aware that a film rated “PG-13” five years ago, could carry a “PG” rating today. Either rating can include an adult situation, foul language, violence and nudity. A study by Applied Research, Inc. shows that kids at younger ages are moving on to shows created with older kids in mind. Many “TV-14” program ratings are very questionable for this age group.

Additionally, studies conducted in 2005 show that sexual content and the level of violence in video games are on the rise. The KidsRisk Project from Harvard School of Public Health, reveals that video game content descriptors do not always reflect what is in the game concerning the severity of violence and graphic sexual content. As a result, parents are unable to make informed decisions. There also exists a gray area between those games rated “Teen” and those rated “Mature.”

Other Resources

Videos and DVDs from various distributors—Family Favorites, Hallmark, Disney—can be borrowed from the public library. If in doubt about any movie borrowed from the adult section, it can be viewed beforehand. If not appropriate, return without any cost. Often, reading the book before seeing the film will enhance the viewing experience. So don’t forget to check out books while there. Parents can share information by letting others in their sphere know when they see a film they can recommend with a clear conscience. They can also express disappointment in a particular film.

Negative Effects of Excessive Viewing

Many kids sit in front of the television due to boredom. The latest statistics say that school-age children watch television more than five hours a day. We need to replace television with productive activities—reading for pleasure, board games, projects, etc.—that can recapture the imagination while improving family time. If families limit their viewing time, it will be even more special when they do watch TV.

Parents need to know that rates of obesity have dramatically increased over the last 20 years. This is due in part to sitting in front of the set. Time spent in front of a screen is time taken away from bodybuilding, calorie-burning physical activities.

Current research supports the belief that cartoons and animated features with high violence content can lead to bullying. Additionally, a 22-year study reveals that there has been an increase in suicides and homicides among youths directly related to violence viewed on television and in films.

Set a Godly Example

We teach our children not by talking about godly values but by translating them into our own lives. We should not send a double message by passively accepting and continuing to watch ungodly programming. If our kids see inconsistency in us, we send the message that it’s all right for an adult to view trash. We can destroy our efforts to reach them. The Psalmist’s desire is to “walk in my house with blameless heart. I will set before my eyes no vile thing” (Psalm 101:2,3).

The parent should be in authority. She needs to provide the guidance. Children feel safe and secure when a loving parent takes charge. We will never regret our decision to carefully monitor both television and video viewing. And the benefit to our children will be everlasting.

My son didn’t go to the cinema that Friday night. Instead he called another friend and they went skateboarding. When I picked John up later, he’d had so much fun that the movie was forgotten. He even apologized for arguing with me and for the unpleasantness earlier in the evening

Feature Films for Families distributes many classic films and creates its own films. Visit www.familytv.com to view a trailer or call 800-326-4598 to purchase.

Resources:
Ted Baehr’s Movieguide, www.movieguide.org, is a ministry dedicated to redeeming the values of the mass media according to biblical principles and helping families make wise media choices.