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Look What God Is Doing!

The Choice

By Cindy Boose

The letter with the damaging news seemed to burn a hole in my coat pocket as I drove to my unsuspecting husband’s office. We were in our fourth year of a stress-filled marriage. Three sources of strain were strapped into the back of our minivan in the form of triplet infant girls. Since their arrival a few months earlier, my husband, Donald, had not been his usual cheerful self. He spent long hours at work and then went straight to the gym to play a few games of basketball before finally heading home.

At first, my husband’s absence didn’t bother me. God blessed me with an independent spirit which relishes undertaking challenges. Also, my parents and good neighbors helped out frequently.

As time went by, though, resentment against my husband grew and I felt he was shirking his responsibilities as a husband and father. No amount of discussion ever seemed to change his behavior, so I decided I would leave him. I had no plan, but anything would be better than his constant rejection.

As I pulled up in front of Donald’s office that late-winter day, my heart raced at the thought of what I was about to do: slip the note into his car and be done with it. I eased into a parking spot and noticed him standing in front of the building, almost as if he were waiting for me. His face lit up as he recognized our van and he lifted his hand in greeting. At that moment, my heart melted and I knew I would never deliver the letter.

Years later, I revealed to Donald how close I had come to leaving him. He reminded me how stressed he was at work during that time because his supervisor treated him poorly and mismanaged the office.

During a very stressful time of his life, I had been at home whining about my husband’s lack of attention. Now, 12 years later, I understand the source of Donald’s stress was his job. And where was I, his chief source of love and support? Wallowing in my own pity and blinded by my own selfish point of view. I was still too immature to recognize my husband’s suffering, even though he had shared his problems with me. In retrospect, two things are clear about my past behavior. My perception of my husband’s actions was totally off-base and I was shirking my responsibilities as his helpmate. Changing my attitude and focusing on my husband’s needs would have helped create a haven to which he could retreat. He is quick to admit his own immaturity led him to use basketball as a means to release pent-up anger and resentment and to escape from the reality of his situation. Additionally, he hadn’t yet learned to turn his frustrations over to his Heavenly Father.

Donald and I are continually working toward growing as a couple in Christ. Every journey is filled with ups and downs to negotiate. The troubles all are worth it when we learn the lessons God teaches through them and we can use our troubles to encourage others in similar situations. I’m thankful for the opportunity to live and learn with my wonderful husband and we are both very glad I didn’t give up when we were just beginning.

CINDY BOOSE writes stories from the heart and teaches her four teenage daughters from their home in South Carolina. God is keeping her on her toes with her husband's pending retirement from 24 years of service in the Army, and their oldest daughter's graduation from high school..