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Tips for Families of Deployed Soldiers

By Claire Shackelford
From www.militarymoms.net

• Stay busy with the kids and other family members. Time seems to go by faster if you’re involved with projects. Get the kids started with sports teams, dance classes, after-school activities, church groups, etc.
• Try to maintain a positive attitude. Your children need some stability in their lives now, so you need to do your best to maintain the “status quo” for them as much as possible. When you write letters to your loved one, try to keep a positive outlook for them as well. Studies have shown that soldiers can perform their jobs much more effectively if they know you’re taking care of things at home.
• Listen to any unspoken messages your children may be giving you. They may start acting inappropriately when Daddy is gone, their grades may drop in school, and they may have social troubles. These are signs they’re having trouble with Dad’s absence. Deal with disciplinary problems appropriately, but try to understand they don’t have the emotional tools they need to voice their fears, frustrations and worries. Spend some extra “snuggle” time with your kids; let them know you love them and you’re taking care of them. Talk about some of the fun things you plan to do when Daddy returns home. Your children’s teachers and school counselors have many resources available to help you and your child during the separation.
• Make use of the various agencies on post designed to help families during this time. Because each branch is different, please make sure your loved one checks in to this before deployment.
• Contact a chaplain on base if you need spiritual help. Chaplains are ordained ministers, and they will listen to you and guide you through this difficult time. They can pray with you and give you other assistance you may not know is available.

What the Bible Says about Fear

• “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident” (Psalm 27:1-3).
• “Do not fear, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

What the Bible Says about Protection

•  “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say  of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you” (Psalm 91:1–7).
•  “When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge” (Proverbs 14:32).

CLAIRE SHACKELFORD is knee deep in the Army! Her oldest son is an infantry soldier and is deployed to Iraq. Her husband joined at an older age and was injured during the last half of Officer Candidate School. He has chaptered out to rehab the leg he broke during training. She has four children and holds a master’s degree in social work, but she is currently a stay-at-home mom.