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Feature

The Holy Spirit’s Nudge

By Carol Kloeckner

The roll of toilet paper was passed from woman to woman in our large circle—sizeable pieces unrolled and torn off to catch the flood of tears that were released as each inmate shared her story. It was the only thing available at the time in the cluttered multi-purpose room where we congregated.

My friends and I wondered what we would encounter as we took a giant leap of faith out of our comfort zone and signed up to lead a book group with women at a local jail. Our orientation was standard procedure revealing the stark barren walls of the facility and a small courtyard where women were allowed to walk and enjoy a few moments of sunshine.

A voice had nudged my heart months before, urging me to step out and get involved with the women whose lives reflected the heart-wrenching stories I’d read about in the newspaper.

You can do this, the voice encouraged me from within. Though uncertain I was really hearing from the Lord, I acted upon the prompting and contacted the jail personnel.

The first Saturday we entered the jail, we were hopeful as we clutched our books. As I walked to the multi-purpose room, I fought off a conflicting negative voice that whined from within, This time you’ve gone too far. After setting up our materials, we waited a full 10 minutes until a lone woman dressed in unattractive blue jail apparel shuffled in to meet with us. She shared the story of how she became an inmate, and assured us more participants would attend next week. Her prediction was accurate—she’d been faithful to spread the word and the women eagerly responded.

Seated in flimsy multi-colored plastic lawn chairs around a rectangular table, the ladies introduced themselves and began to describe the troubles that brought them to jail and the new ones they found themselves in since they’d arrived.

Kelly was the first to share. Her cherub face and perfect blonde curls looked out of place. “I’ve done nothing wrong,” she stated, her voice quivering. “Except for being addicted to pleasing men, that is. I befriended a guy I met on the internet and he totally used me over time. In the end he put a gun to my head and forced me to drive him over the state line to escape the cops. That’s when I got arrested. Bottom line, I just want out.”

Donna shared next. Her long jet black hair made her look younger than her 48 years. Her voice was low but clear. “I’m in here because of alcohol,” she began. “It’s had a grip on me since I was drunk in my mother’s womb. I’ve battled it my whole life.” The pain and anguish in her voice was unmistakable. I silently prayed that I would have the right words for her. I reached out to lay my hand on hers as she continued. Donna’s ashen face contorted as she described the anguish of being separated from her children. My own problems shrunk as I listened to the seemingly immovable mountains under which she was suffering. As I spoke of God’s redeeming love and purpose for her life, she seemed encouraged.

Our time together passed quickly and before we knew it a female guard opened the door and announced that it was 10:45 a.m. and the ladies’ lunch trays had arrived. As we were escorted out of the building down numerous corridors, I heard God’s gentle voice, “This is exactly what I had in mind.” I sensed His pleasure.

Since those first visits we have met with numerous women as they have entered and exited our local facility. I’m struck with the fact that we are all at times trapped in various forms of captivity and need God’s truth and power to be set free. “God loves us just where we are” is the message we attempt to convey as we listen to each unique story. We’ve watched the Holy Spirit minister to each one in His own special way; breaking through barriers and bondages to bring the ladies into a tangible freedom reaching well beyond the bars of their confinement.

I’m thankful I obeyed the leading of the Holy Spirit. I love every minute of the personal rewards this adventure has brought to my life. I’ve asked the Lord to entrust me with more. I can have confidence in Him as I purpose to step out in faith. Only God knows what further adventures await me as I obey.

Names have been changed.

CAROL KLOECKNER is a freelance writer living in Broomfield, CO. She and her husband are the parents of five children and one grandchild.