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Miracle Baby: A Mother’s Journal (Part 1)

By Rachel Steer

Abigail Grace Steer came into the world with a large malignant tumor in her brain, but by God’s grace, she had faith-filled parents waiting to love and care for her no matter what. In this excerpt from her online journal, Abby’s mother, Rachel, shares the agony and joy of raising a child with cancer and clings tightly to the hope of a miracle.

May 1, 2007

I was born today. There were 8 babies born within the hour and Mom and I were doing so well that I got to spend extra time with her. When they took me to the nursery, a good nurse realized that my "soft spot" was bulging. She notified a doctor who ordered my first ultrasound. Mom and Dad were notified that I had a brain bleed.

I had a biopsy. The doctor came out afterwards and told Mommy and Daddy that the tumor was definitely malignant, but they would have to wait a few days to find out exactly what kind it is. Everyone is crying. I have a tube in my nose for food, a tube in my mouth for air, a tube in my stomach to draw blood, and an IV in my tiny hand. I don't look so healthy anymore. Friends of my parents took down all the stuff in my nursery at home and turned it in to a spare bedroom because I will probably never live there. Everything is a bit overwhelming but we know God is faithful.

May 15, 2007

The risks of surgery and chemo are so great and this tumor will most likely return, so we have decided to leave Abby in the Lord's hands. Either He will heal her on earth (which is what we are praying for) or take her to heaven to be made perfect there. The doctors really don't know how long she has because there are a couple of variables. We will be returning home soon.

May 21, 2007

Abby is weighing in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces today, up from 7 pounds, 2 ounces that she weighed after losing a pound from her birth weight. She is very alert and active. The doctor seemed surprised today when he found her to have normal tone, reflexes and alertness. She is already a miracle and the doctors seem encouraged that the tumor isn't progressing more rapidly.

May 30, 2007

It's funny how Abby has changed everything for the better. Her diagnosis makes me sad when I imagine life without her, but it also has purified my understanding of what matters. Living for God and relishing every minute with my family and friends is all that matters.

June 1, 2007

Abby’s brain surgery is scheduled for 7 a.m. Monday morning. The surgery will take several hours and is being performed by two top physicians who have experience with this type of tumor, although they have never performed the surgery on such a young patient. They will remove as much of the tumor as possible and Abby will go through a year of chemo. This type of tumor requires radiation, which they cannot do on a child under 1 year of age, so when she turns 1, she will begin radiation. The chemo is just to keep the tumor from growing.

June 4, 2007

Praise God! Abby's surgery lasted about an hour and a half. The doctors were able to get the entire tumor. I know the prayers of our family and friends brought her through surgery safely.

June 9, 2007

Many people have asked us how Abby will be after having brain surgery so I will answer that question here. We don't know. The doctors don't know. It all depends on little Abigail. We do know that children having partial brain removals and even total right or left hemisphere removals have weakness on the opposite side of the body. As far as their neurological status goes, these children can have no noticeable intellectual dysfunction or extreme dysfunction. So, as far as Abby goes, we have no idea what this surgery will do to her. But what we do know is we had no other choice.

To read Abigail’s complete story, visit www.caringbridge.org/visit/abigailgracesteer.