Feature

Leaving a Legacy of Love

If you’ve failed at being the next June Cleaver, you’re not alone.

Ruth Homer Many mothers wonder how to create a legacy of love in spite of their difficult situations, struggling children or personal mistakes. What is more, some women never received a healthy legacy from their parents.

Judy Rachels, Southern California District Women’s Director for the Assemblies of God, describes her mother Ruth as a “cycle breaker.” Ruth Homer (1915-2003) was an author, speaker, pastor and mother whose legacy inspires many today. Ruth’s legacy passed from her daughter Judy to her granddaughter, Heather Clements, Women’s Director for Rock Harbor Church in Costa Mesa, California.

Judy Rachels Together, these women show that legacies are not created by perfect people in ideal circumstances. Rather, legacies are built during times of crisis and struggle.

When Times Are Tough...

Difficult situations create key moments for building a legacy of love. Ruth was a young mother when she endured two years of separation from her husband in World War II. In a 1978 article published in Woman’s Touch magazine, Ruth describes her husband’s heart-wrenching farewell and how it brought her closer to her daughter Judy.

Heather Clements “After clinging to each other in total silence and abject despair, my chaplain husband picked up 3-year-old Judy and held her close, saying softly, ‘Take care of mommy for me!’ He grabbed me in a long, wordless embrace, kissed me and hurried off into the darkness.

“Numbly, Judy and I returned to the trailer—alone and 2,000 miles from our nearest relative. Inside, Judy’s crying broke the spell. Through her sobs she said, ‘He told me to take care of you, but he didn’t tell a-anyb-body to t-take c-care of me!’

“I had gone dry-eyed thus far, but this was too much. I gathered Judy into my arms and we wept together. At last I dried her eyes and mine. I assured my little girl of our love and care for her. God brought His soothing balm at last and gave us a night of unbroken, healing sleep.”

When Your Child Struggles...

Struggling children give their mothers a unique opportunity to build a legacy of love. Now a mother of three adult children, Judy shares the importance of a mother’s perspective and response.

“When our children struggle, it requires tremendous confidence in God’s sovereignty. He granted our children free will, and their decisions do not have to affect our joy in serving God.

We must always welcome our children, and not rehash their bad decisions. Why would our children want to serve God if they don’t receive grace, patience and hope from us? Even if we don’t get much in return, we should try to maintain the same relationship with them.
When our faith is secure, we will be touched by circumstances, yet governed by the Holy Spirit. This we decide every day, with every issue.”

When You Make Mistakes...

Every mother has weaknesses that affect her children. Yet if mothers respond with honesty and humility, they will teach their children important aspects of love—grace and forgiveness.

Judy benefited from how her mother Ruth took responsibility for her flaws. “I saw my mom struggle with the same weaknesses that God now reveals in me. Watching my mom work through her weaknesses taught me how to work through my own.”

Judy always saw her mother pursue wholeness through the power of the Holy Spirit, and learned to make this a focus for herself. “The most important thing about a woman is her view of God. Mothers need to settle their personal and marital issues and have a strong view of who God is. My mom had that in place. It freed her to be satisfied inside, and to be the mother I needed. She wasn’t anxious about issues, because she resolved them daily.”

When You Lack An Example...

The goal of creating a legacy is reflecting Christ’s love to your children, so they will someday fully embrace the Source of the love they have felt from you. Yet some mothers wonder how they can give what they never received as children. Paul says in Ephesians, “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God” (Ephesians 5:1,2, NLT). Regardless of your upbringing, you have been given a legacy through the example of Christ’s love!

Ruth was able to perpetuate Christ’s legacy because she spent time being loved and affirmed by Him. Her granddaughter, Heather, remembers, “During those years she lived with us, I would pass by her room every morning on my way to school. I saw her sitting in her robe with her Bible open, hands folded, praying. Every time I think of home, that picture comes to my mind.”

Being in God’s presence teaches parents to lovingly respond to their children the way Christ would. This was Ruth’s secret to creating a legacy of love, and according to Judy, the secret for every mother: “Every woman has the opportunity to be the cycle-breaker my mother was. Each day, decide to be governed by the Holy Spirit and not your past or wrong thinking. We are God’s children—not his grandchildren—and each one of us is His fresh work.”

Want more encouragement as a mom? Sign up for our “Moments for Moms” e-newsletter. It's a once-a-week dose of encouragement, a prayer, and resources for further reading. For moms with children of any age!