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A Closer Walk

Looking Like Martha

By Nancie Charmichael

Not long ago I when I was in an airport, a fellow traveler asked me if I was Martha Stewart. He was sure I was. I laughed and told him that other than being blond and 50-plus, there was not the slightest resemblance between us!

It reminds me of the story of the two sisters in the Bible, Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38–42). I’ve always wanted to be more like Mary than Martha. But I have to admit I resemble Martha in some ways. Martha prepared an incredible meal for Jesus, but she got upset because Mary seemed oblivious to all her hard work. How annoying—Mary just sat listening at Jesus’ feet! Martha couldn’t take it any more and finally burst out, “‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?... Tell her to help me.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her’“ (verses 40–42, NKJV).

The biblical Martha’s theme could be, “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” If it’s going to be done right, that is. Jesus saw through Martha’s words and recognized the underlying anxiety that seemed to motivate her perfectionist ways. Ouch. I wince when I read this story, because it’s easier for me to “do,” rather than “be.” I tend to be driven.

For years I’ve kept journals, and I paged through them the other day, remembering what it was like being a student; then newly married. When I had tiny babies, my journal entries were spotty, with nothing more than a page or two some months. In those days I was doing good to write a grocery list, let alone journal!

Then there were my children’s school-aged years, and I had more time to occasionally reflect on a Scripture and my life as I waited for a load of jeans to dry or while I sat at the kitchen counter making dinner.

As I read, I was disconcerted to see, yes, a resemblance to Martha! No matter where I am in life, an underlying anxiety pushes me to do what I need to do well. And often there’s a knot in my stomach that says there isn’t enough of me to go around, that I’m not measuring up to my current role or challenge. That my efforts are never good enough.

Perhaps you can identify with me? As I look ahead, I ask myself, “Where do I need to grow?” I realize it’s time to grow up, to deal with the anxiety of acceptance-based performance, of the fear of disappointing or letting people down.

Where does this anxiety come from? It’s as old as Cain and Abel—works vs. grace. While I say I trust the Lord, that He alone is my strength, often I am my own worst enemy, fretting, striving, imagining the worst. This kind of thinking is arrogant, and it also adds unnecessary stress. Paul had it right: “Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God” (2 Corinthians 3:5, NIV).

What Jesus told Martha is true for many of us who are good at serving and giving, and how important it is to step back and examine our motives, to understand what drives us. It’s not that serving the meal wasn’t a good thing to do. It was. It was obviously Martha’s gift, and blessed many. But Martha needed a new way of thinking. Stress doesn’t come so much from outside sources as what we tell ourselves. Mary had her priorities right—sitting at Jesus’ feet.

I wonder what Jesus was saying that Mary was so intent on hearing? Maybe He was telling her, “Do not worry about your life... If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry...your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:25,30,32,33, NIV).

It’s possible to read the Word, to have my quiet time, yet not “sit down” inside. Understanding that I need to “sit down” inside, to absolutely, truly trust Him, unlocks that knot inside of me as I remember, “He is in control.”

Listening to Him (and then living and working out of that) is what’s really necessary. Anxiety comes from getting it backward. When I prepare my heart and spirit, and take time to be with Him no matter what, the rest is details. It isn’t up to me to be the perfect hostess; the best wife and mother ever; put on the perfect conference; speak and write to change lives.

Because, after all, only God changes lives. He simply puts His presence, His treasure in my earthen, oh-so-human vessel, and I share out of what I am given. Paul had a great solution for anxiety: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6,7, NKJV).

NANCIE CARMICHAEL is the author of Selah:Your Moment to Stop, Think, and Step into Your Future and many other books. Visit her Web site at www.nanciecarmichael.com.